A Long-Expected Party

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I never felt open in any way. I would never impulsively ring people and assume that they’d want to see me, or just go ‘round. I always had to sit down and think very hard before I knocked on anybody’s door. And consequently, I never really knocked.

- Morrissey  (via lunardemons)

(Source: durianquotes)

(Source: syntaxbitch)

Yo, what up. 

I have a minute while I’m eating lunch before I leave for class. I just had cordon bleu and a side of corn, some tea, and I had blueberry greek yogurt with scrambled eggs, salsa and a tortilla for breakfast. 

These are all good things. I like the feeling of having eaten complete, decent meals. 

I started writing an essay that I’ve been procrastinating on today. That is also a good thing. 

These past few days have been pretty bad on an emotional level. I’d been feeling really great, and then I had a fainting episode and hit my head, and I forgot to take my medication for a few days. 

I get angry, and sad, and frustrated, and helpless, hopeless. I forget if what I’m doing in life has a purpose or direction. I start to lose faith that I can accomplish things. Anything. 

I’ve been so tired, as I usually am, but I can’t get through a day without taking a nap. I went to the doctor, and she suggested that it might be my medication, and that scared me a lot. The first medication was rough, and the transition to this one was even more rough. I feel okay on this one, but staying on it might mean that I’ll keep being too tired to function. 

I’m only taking a few classes this semester, and I’m not working nearly as much as I used to. I’m glad that I have enough time to compensate for my fatigue.

I guess the point of this post is to remind myself that I have done and can do good things. I can do things, period. Being as tired and sad as I’ve been this weekend, I just need to remember that I am capable. Maybe I can’t accomplish monumental, heroic tasks right now, but that’s okay. Just keeeep goooiiinnnggg…. 

"I don’t care what you believe. Just believe in it." - Shepherd Book, Serenity 

(Source: best-of-memes)

so. fucking. tired. all. the. fucking. time. 

I JUST WANNA WAKE UP AND BE ABLE TO DO THINGS

LIKE MAKE MYSELF BREAKFAST

READ A BOOK

GO FOR A WALK

DO SOME HOMEWORK

I DUNNO, PEOPLE THINGS

instead I have ten minute intervals of doing things, then lay down for twenty minutes. It takes me four fucking hours to get anything done. I hate being inefficient. 

FUUUUCCCCKKKKKK

SOMEBODY FIX ME 

(Source: andillwriteyouatragedy)

screw stardust; be iron instead.
be the element that creates stardust.
be the element that causes the largest stars to explode.
be the element that is strong enough to collapse an entire universe.

- -k.m | supernovae (via lastisle)

(Source: silverlinedmemories)

(Source: lokisacolyte)

(Source: vanessayves)

cosmicspread:

my ultimate goal is to be at peace with myself, eliminate toxic feelings and elements and energies from my life, unlearn negative and harmful practices and thought patterns, stop checking for people that don’t check for me, create a space for myself that is nurturing for growth so that i may generate loving energy for myself and for others, nourish my spirit and balance my energies, i have big dreams and i deserve to live a life i love and let that love radiate

(Source: llleighsmith)